My Exceeding Joy...

Christmas break is finally here and I, like most, am increasingly grateful for its timing. The past few weeks leading up to break were difficult for me. I found myself caught in a rut -- tired of the monotony of my schedule, dreading the future of my GPA, and failing to find joy in anything that my day-to-day life was offering. I began to realize that my attitude, character, and actions were not reflecting Christ in the way that I knew they should. Not wanting to continue in this way, I typed a simple phrase into the safari app on my phone: "finding joy in God". The first words to pop up on my screen were that of Psalm 43:3-4 --

"Send out your light and your truth; let them lead me; let them bring me to your holy hill and to your dwelling! Then I will go to the alter of my God, to God my exceeding joy, and I will praise you with the lyre, O God, my God." [ESV] (emphasis added)

I had heard this verse before -- probably multiple times -- but this time, the significance of the words struck me in a way that they never had before. David is crying out to God for guidance in the midst of an exhausting situation, and he's allowing himself to be completely vulnerable with God in this moment. I love this about the Psalms -- they teach us that it's okay to voice our raw, unfiltered feelings to a God who truly cares. But, it is important to notice the order of the actions that David is asking God to allow. David asks God to come to him first. He asks for God's light and truth to guide him in his time of weakness, and he is able to do so because he understands that it is God who always initiates. I was hit hard with this very encouraging truth: God is my timeless pursuer. He is relentless in seeking me out, regardless of my past or current attitudes, feelings, or efforts. He is always the initiator.

God's role as initiator does not end when he draws us toward salvation; it continues throughout the entirety of our journey with Him. I recognized that this truth was revealing itself in my own life at that very time. I was tired, sleep deprived, and so focused on myself that my time spent with God had become all but extinct. But, as I read those verses, another beautiful truth was revealed to me:

The qualities of God lead me to Him when the quality of my heart falls short.

The rut that I had fallen into had led me to a low point in my walk with God, and when my actions, thoughts, or desires are not like God's I tend to run away from the convictions of His Word. But, God reminded me that He has already paid for those actions, thoughts, and desires on the cross, and He was begging me to come back toward Him and experience the freedom and joy that only his forgiveness can offer. I was struggling, just like David, but I needed only to recognize the truth that God is my light, He is my truth, and He is leading me closer to Himself -- I need only to follow.

But what is joy, really, and how do we find it? I think that John Piper gives a good explanation when he says,

"Christian joy is a good feeling in the soul, produced by the Holy Spirit, as he causes us to see the beauty of Christ in the word and in the world."

The difference between happiness and joy is that happiness is based on our experiences, and joy is based on our standing with God. Because of this, there is never a time when joy is not available to us, despite the condition of our surrounding or current experiences. David needed God to guide him back to this truth, and so did I. By turning to His Word, the Holy Spirit allowed me to recall the faithfulness that God had displayed throughout difficult situations in my past, leading me to recognize his faithfulness in my current experience. My experience didn't determine my joy; my joy was rediscovered in the constant faithfulness of my God.

I love the language that David uses: "to God my exceeding joy". God doesn't simply fill in the holes in my soul where I had previously been holding discouragement, anxiousness, and sin; he fills my heart until it is overflowing with joy. I cannot recall a single time where I have experienced more joy than the joy I find when I am walking with God. David, a king, had experienced a great deal of what the world had to offer in its own feeble attempts at "joy", yet he still recognized that there was no joy greater than the one found in following God. There is simply no joy like the joy that is found in Jesus.

With two simple verses, God broke me down and built me right back up again. He reminded me that although my schedule, schoolwork, and relationships are bound to get bumpy at points, there is always joy to be found in following Him. When we let God meet us where we are, we see how He has always been, is always, and will always be: our EXCEEDING JOY.